Ex- English skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full implications of the muscle-degenerating condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the condition.
"There's something about confronting what lies ahead and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the moment," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I fail to comprehend where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "calm" as he focuses on his present wellbeing, his family and planning ahead for when the illness progresses.
"Maybe that's surprise or maybe I deal with matters differently, and when I have the information, it's easier," he continued.
First Signs
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder while working out in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the condition, a set of scans revealed nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're given this condition identification of MND and we're rightly extremely moved about it, but it's quite odd because I sense that everything is fine," he added.
"I don't feel sick. I don't feel poorly
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I remain competent to performing anything and everything. And hopefully that will persist for as long as is feasible."
Disease Advancement
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the organization MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a 33% of people within a 365 days and over half within 730 days of diagnosis, as eating and inhalation become more difficult.
Therapy can only slow worsening.
"It's never me that I feel sad for," stated an affected Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Household Impact
Talking from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the traumatic news, stating: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two wonderful boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody said.
"We sat on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog bounded over and started licking the tears off our faces, which was somewhat amusing."
Moody explained the emphasis was staying in the moment.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be extremely strongly directed on just welcoming and savoring everything now," he commented.
"As Annie said, we've been really fortunate that the sole determination I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as possible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Player Association
Elite competitors are excessively affected by MND, with research suggesting the prevalence of the condition is up to six times elevated than in the general population.
It is believed that by limiting the O2 available and creating harm to nerve cells, consistent, intense training can initiate the illness in those already vulnerable.
Sports Professional Life
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in recognition of his brave, persistent style to the game.
He participated through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once initiated a workout confrontation with colleague and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he abandoned a training equipment and began participating in tackles.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the back of the line-out in the decisive moment of play, creating a platform for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop-goal.
Assistance Network
Moody has earlier notified Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a handful of other ex- colleagues about his medical situation, but the others will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that sort of affection and recognition that people are there is what's important," he stated.
"The sport is such a wonderful family.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to call your love your career, it's one of the most significant privileges.
"Achieving this for so extended a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will desire to assist in every way they can and I await having those discussions."
